Melanoma, Mind Games and a Big Adventure

After David’s blog last month looking at the Partner’s view of living with cancer it’s back to me this month. I’ve been feeling pretty good lately and found myself feeling more confident that my Xmas Pressie from Dave may become reality – Dream, Dare, Do – An adventure of a lifetime to Argentina where I had always wanted to visit.

After experiencing a number of fevers (one of the main side effects of the drugs I am on) earlier in the year, I felt unsure I would be comfortable leaving the security of the UK with Marsden HQ on speed dial 20 mins away from our home. After going to the Alps in the summer, Sardinia in September I started to feel more comfortable about overseas trips and the big adventure may become reality. First there was the hurdle of the regular scans to overcome. My oncologist had tentatively said that he was ok for me to travel … subject to my next scans.

I went through my usual routine over the weekend before getting scan results and tried to keep scanxiety at bay. On our way to Chelsea on the Monday, I began to feel sick and my heart was pounding like going to sit an A level exam. The wait before the appointment felt excruciatingly long and I must have visited the loo about 3 times in less than half an hour. I am also conscious of the fact that the drugs that I am on work to control melanoma for an average of 10 to 12 months and I am approaching that timeframe. My Oncologist has told me to try not to worry and remember that it is an average, every patient is different. Finally my name was called and Professor Larkin told me the scans were all good and I could go to Argentina. It was a huge relief and I left the hospital feeling very excited.

However, the excitement didn’t last long as 24 hours later I began to feel sick and felt a fever was coming on. This came as a bit of a shock to the system as I hadn’t experienced one since March and it was so soon after receiving the good news from my scans.  As you know living with stage 4 melanoma is anything but predictable. Just 2 days later my temperature was 39 degrees and I was back at the hospital feeling awful. Blood tests revealed that I had caught a virus, which was probably compounded by my medication and I was told to prepare for a stormy 48 hours and it was time to rest and do nothing. After 3 days of rest as if by magic I started to feel human again. After a return visit to Marsden HQ a few days later to recheck my bloods the inflammatory markers had returned to normal which was a huge relief. The experience was a huge reminder on how quickly things can change.

Over the last couple of months I have also developed some small vitiligo patches on my cheeks. I am more conscious of these than others. I also had my regular check up with my dermatologist, which enabled me to discuss these with her. Interestingly, I have also developed slight vitiligo rings around a couple of moles on my back. It has been explained that these are generally viewed (albeit not conclusive) as a positive in terms of melanoma control and may be a sign that my immunotherapy treatment is still having a positive impact on melanoma control

Dealing with the mental side of melanoma is as much of a challenge as the physical side. There is no one size fits all solution and even although I am pretty strong mentally and have learned to live in the present, you just never know when a bout of anxiety or worry is going to hit you. I have my coping mechanisms and as I have written in the past one of the best solutions I have found of keeping myself calm and switching the mind off the melanoma worry has been yoga and pilates. I have become an avid yoga fan practicing at least twice a week at the gorgeous Samsara studios in SW London. I was also lucky to recently take the yoga a step further and head off on my first yoga holiday to Majorca with my gorgeous friend Jen. This was a different somewhat calmer affair than previous girly trips with good friends Liz and Jen. Up at 7, yoga practice at 8 watching the sun come up over the beach for 2 hours it was quite blissful and very relaxing. I completely forgot about the melanoma and focused on trying to improve my vinyasa flows and poses. It was lovely to spend quality time with Jen catching up on gossip in such a relaxing environment and I came home after 4 days feeling in a relaxed state of zen.

Now whilst yoga can’t cure my cancer anything that helps improve my mental well-being is good in my book. I know that some of the cancer charities Macmillan, Maggies also provide counseling and many patients find this very helpful, I certainly haven’t ruled this out but I haven’t felt the need in my current state of mind.

During the last month I was fortunate to be asked by the Royal Marsden Cancer Charity to join them for a visit to speak to the staff of one of their major corporate supporters Ralph Lauren. Every year, during the month of October Ralph Lauren run their “Pink Pony “campaign which is their corporate wide initiative in the fight against cancer. The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity is the UK benefactor with Ralph Lauren organizing a number of fundraising activities throughout the year to engage their staff and customers. I spoke on behalf of the charity to thank Ralph Lauren and also share my patient story and my experience of the Marsden and their teams. It was a hugely positive day and I really loved being part of it and it was really lovely to see how engaged and passionate the Ralph Lauren staff are about supporting the wonderful work of the Royal Marsden Charity. I also received a lovely framed letter from the Head of the Royal Marsden Cancer Charity thanking everyone involved in the Shomelanoma fundraising, which was hugely appreciated.

On our 13^th wedding anniversary (14 October) David and his good friend Fraser took part in the latest Shomelanoma fundraising activity Royal Parks Half Marathon. It was pouring with rain as they set off through the beautiful Royal Parks a far cry from the gorgeous sunny day of last year but they both did a fabulous job and arriving over the finish line completely soaked but 10 minutes quicker than last year to run in 2hrs 18. The challenge is now on to run under 2hrs for 2019. Well done to them both and thank you to everyone who has supported them.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/shomelanomarphm2018

Next up north of the border my gorgeous cousin and his wife Iain and Siobhan Ramage are taking things to another level with the sponsored waxathon and fundraising evening. We have just heard that the activities have raised £2000 which is amazing and there will follow a full report in the next blog along with future fundraising plans for 2019.

As the nights close in and weather turns wintery please remember to do your monthly skin check and if you see any changes in your moles see your GP. Don’t join the statistics 7 people die of melanoma in the UK every day and once it spreads its very difficult to control. UV rays from sunbeds have been shown to contribute to rising cases of melanoma and we want them banned in the UK as they already are in Brazil and Australia. I have never used sunbeds but please help support Melanoma UK and sign and share the petition below.

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/223903