Cancer · Living with Cancer · Melanoma

Three Years of Stage 4 Melanoma and now Corona Virus

I am approaching the 3-year anniversary of my stage 4 melanoma diagnosis on March 31 and just received good news that my latest scans are fine. I was at the hospital on Thursday and it felt strange as it was much quieter than normal and the radiology staffs were all in very serious mode. This is of course not surprising given that we are in unprecedented times where our amazing frontline NHS staff are being asked not just to do their regular day jobs but also take on dealing with the worst virus pandemic in a generaton. On Friday my Oncologist phoned me to let me know my scans were fine, and he was prescribing 2 months worth of drugs so I didn’t have to go into the hospital for my appointment, as they were trying to limit unnecessary footfall through the hospital. I asked him if my immune system was affected with my current drug regime and he said it was likely to be more compromised than the average person my age without melanoma. I am now being sensible practicing social distancing, stopped going to the gym and swimming but I have still been running outside and my bike is serviced, ready for action. It also makes complete sense where possible for the doctors to be doing consultations by phone/skype to save face-to-face contact for them and their patients. It also provided the benefit of having my usual weekend scanxiety worry awaiting the Monday morning appointment.

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However, despite being given the good news of my scan results I found myself becoming increasingly anxious about the corona virus and the fact I am immune compromised. As if there’s not been enough to worry about over the last 3 years with stage 4 cancer now this comes along. I have now recognized what was making the situation worse was social media and listening to the news so I’ll be doing less of that and focusing on finding fun ways of adapting to my situation at home.

I did however pop into the Royal Marsden this week to pick up my 2 months supplies of drugs and have blood tests. The hospital is taking a lot of precautions to keep patients and staff safe. I’ve heard of some patients who are having their treatment cancelled as its too big of a risk for their immune systems right now as they could be at a higher risk of serious complications with the corona virus. This adds additional stress for those already dealing with their cancer diagnosis. The NHS is under such stress right now that resources are also being diverted to other areas.

David and I lived in Hong Kong throughout the SARS epidemic of 2003 when we had home working, social distancing and travel bans to certain locations and there was fear amongst the Hong Kong people. One of David’s abiding memories is of some of the local chinese driving their convertible cars with roofs down but face masks on … We still have friends in Hong Kong and the corona virus hit there in mid January shortly after China. They closed their borders, implemented testing, shut schools and had social distancing very early on and appear to have contained the virus showing a low number of cases and deaths. Many of the other SE Asian countries have been the same. It is currently very distressing to see what is happening in Europe and in my opinion Europe and the UK have slept-walk into the current crisis. I just hope that we are not going to see the UK following Italy in a couple of weeks’ time. It does feel like we are living through a real life disaster movie.

 

To say how quickly life has changed just 3 weeks ago David and I were on the slopes skiing in Chatel with good friends Jen, Paul and family. We had beautiful weather albeit it was warm skiing in the fresh mountain air. Here are a few pics from the mountains. I did suggest to David the other day that we get a camper van and head north to the Outer Hebrides, however, reading the BBC website today, it appears others have done exactly that and are now likely to be creating a strain on their limited local services and everyone needs to stay at home.  It’s almost 2 years since we had our lovely adventure there and I am now longing to get out of London for some Scottish mountain air. If anyone can bottle it and send some to me please do.

As I mentioned in my last blog next up on the melanoma fundraising for the Royal Marsden is the triathlon. My gorgeous friend Melissa Tarver is signed up to do an Iron Man in Barcelona in July and a group of us are signed up for the Blenheim Palace Triathlon on May 31, albeit like many events, we have been advised this week that it will be postponed and will be rescheduled. On the plus side this gives me more time for training which I need especially for swimming.

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It’s hard to believe a little less than 2 weeks ago I was swimming outside on a gorgeous Friday afternoon at Hampton pool. In the meantime I will still be running and cycling and doing Joe Wicks fitness classes in the back garden to keep myself sane and fit. Welcome to the garden gym. David doesn’t think the neighbours are ready for him to join me yet!!

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We may need some virtual fun activities over the next few months to keep us entertained and sane and the idea of a virtual danceathon has arisen. Get your pink wigs and legwarmers out.

As we enter this uncertain time more than ever I appreciate the lengths that the Marsden and all NHS staff right now are going to look after patients. This goes from the cleaners to the porters to the nurses and doctors. As they say not all heroes wear capes but they most definitely are all heroes.

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Finally my patient story is included in the latest Royal Marsden magazine with a commentary from my Oncologist. I’ll include a link with the next blog In the meantime stay safe, sending lots of love to you all and more shomelanoma adventures coming from home soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Melanoma

Mastering the Melanoma Mind Game – Happy 2020

I have been thinking a lot recently about just how much melanoma messes with your mind. This can manifest itself in different ways and set me off on a whole spiral of worry in the last month. The feel good factor I had after the Peruvian holiday quickly disappeared. It had started off in Peru when I woke up one morning after having a very vivid dream (or nightmare) that my fingers needed to be amputated due to the fact my melanoma had returned (all in my dream). In reality, just before Christmas I started to feel a strange pain in my fingers and it was worse when I woke up in the morning. During the day the pain lessened. I checked the side effects of my drugs and joint pains are on the list and I also know from the melanoma support group that some other patients on the same drugs had experienced this too. However the thought that this may be something more sinister was at the back of my mind.

After Xmas the pain was still there in my hand and I also felt that my fingertip was feeling numb. It was two years ago when my gums became numb that led to the early discovery of a small tumour in my brain which was affecting the nerves, therefore my mind was running into overdrive that the fingertip could be related to further nerve damage. I had scans coming up at Marsden HQ so I knew that if there was an issue all would soon be revealed. Last Friday afternoon I was back in Chelsea for my scans. This was not without drama. Every time I go for scans I have a cannula put in my arm so that they can inject the radioactive dye to show up any cancer cells on the scans. As I have no lymph nodes in my left arm this is always done using my right arm. After 3 years of treatment, monthly blood tests and scans every 2 – 3 months the veins in my right arm are not in the best condition and last Friday it took six attempts to find a vein for the cannula to go into my arm. Normally I don’t find this process stressful but on the last two visits it has taken several attempts, making it much more stressful. I think the fact I was already feeling worried made me even more anxious. The radiology team at the Marsden are fantastic, these situations aren’t easy for them either and they do their absolute best to calm you down. I left the hospital with an arm that looked like I had been through a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson.

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By Monday morning I was in nervous wreck mode. I actually started to wonder if my dream back in November about the finger needing to be amputated was a premonition (the mind was playing games) of what was to come. David was amazing as ever keeping me occupied and was his usual calm self even as I had convinced myself the melanoma had progressed and the rollercoaster was about to go back up a gear. My scans had been very late on Friday afternoon and my nurse advised that that they were awaiting the radiologist to sign off the CT scan before we could have the appointment. Immediately sensing my rising anxiety levels, my nurse tried to reassure me by saying, “It doesn’t mean anything to worry about” however, it all added to my overall anxiety so the wait felt even longer. By the time I was in the door and sat down being told that my scans were good, I felt like I was about to burst (I probably looked that way too) and it was such an overwhelming sense of relief. I hadn’t felt as bad going into a scan results appointment for a long time and was also exhausted. The pains I was experiencing in my hands were put down to side effects of the drugs or nerve pain and as the week has gone on my fingers have been feeling better. So the mind games did play a big role in how I was feeling in the run up to the latest scans and as other cancer patients will know its hard not to assume that every pain you have is cancer related. I think I am quite in tune with my body and how it is feeling but I was pleased to be proved wrong on this occasion and massively grateful that the targeted drugs I am taking are still keeping my melanoma under control. Of course the happiness that the drugs are still working for me is tempered by the fact that for many patients the targeted drugs that I am on develop resistance and/or immunotherapy doesn’t work for them so they are currently struggling trying to get on drug trials or running out of options. This is why its so important to continue supporting pioneering melanoma research and raising awareness to help prevent melanoma by protecting our skin, doing regular skin checks and getting anything suspicious checked by your GP.

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Exercise has helped me with my mental health over the last 3 years and I am now ready to turn my focus to the 2020 challenge and get training for a triathlon. I have signed up for the Blenheim sprint triathlon on May 31 with some friends, which involves swimming 750m, cycling 20km and running 5km. Who knows if I am taking on more than I bargained for, I am not a great swimmer BUT am planning to have a couple of swimming lessons and then practice, practice practice. If you would like to join the Shomelanoma team and join me in the triathlon challenge it’s not too late and I’d love to have you. Full details are here.

http://www.livetotri.co.uk/blenheim

Just let me know if you’d like to sign up and I can ensure you are added to the team. My nurse at the Marsden asked David if he would be joining me for this challenge to which he responded absolutely NOT. I’ll keep you posted and entertained with the swimming attempts over the next few months.

There is more to come on this year’s Shomelanoma fundraising challenges and adventures. If you would like to take on your own challenge please get in touch. Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2020 and thanks as ever for all of your support it means the world. As David said on New Years Day Keep searching for your window on the world, above all enjoy yourselves and have fun. Here’s the lovely card my good friend Jen sent me this week, Thanks for listening.

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